There's a lot to be said about having friends. When I was just an infant, my parents moved my sister and I from a small little town in the country to live here in Davenport so we could have a chance at having more friends and more opportunities in the city. Unfortunately my sister and I didn't catch what my parents were throwing.
As kids we both were shy, didn't talk much, and probably threw away dozens of friendships because of it. I remember being invited to things and I constantly turned people down. I still do that to this day. I'm not proud of it. I didn't stay at slumber parties and would always call my mom to go home halfway through the night. I can't tell you how many friends I lost doing this. Then when you hit about middle school, kids you hang out with end up going to different schools, and then even more so when you hit high school. For the longest time, my only friend was my best friend that I met in middle school. To this day she is my ride or die.
Now as we grow up and lives change, and people change, I find myself in a place where I wish I hadn't cancelled plans. That I hadn't blown people off who wanted to spend time with me. To all of my old friends who I lost touch with, I am so sorry. I wish we had stayed closer and I had put more effort into our friendship. I wish I had stopped and told myself, "Ali, things won't be this way forever enjoy them while you can." At the end of the day you will always have your family, but someday when you get older, your kids grow up, you will need friends to pass the time and make life fun again. I love my husband and he really is my best friend, and we have so much fun together, but outside of our relationship, it is important for us to have friendships.
They always say growing up is hard to do, but no one ever really tells you how hard it actually really is. Keeping a home life, bills, kids activities, day to day life. Where did all the fun and silly times goes. Acting stupid and laughing about it. I SO miss all of my friends and spending all my time with them, but there comes a time when everyone has their own life, and their own thing going on, and that's just life. I miss going out of town, or hanging out with my girlfriends every weekend even though most of the time the kids were always tagging along with us. It was still fun. Dinner, desert and renting movies, staying up until 2am while the kids were tucked in their beds. My life has now come to weekend bed times at 10PM.
As I'm creeping into my 30's life is getting scarier. I need something to fill my weekends and bring joy and excitement into my life. I want to get a camper sometime in the near future and have a weekend hobby with my family, where we have a chance to meet new people and families like us.
To all my friends I don't spend every waking hour with anymore, I miss you so much. I pray someday things can go back to being silly, stupid and fun again. I'm here. I've always been here. I wonder if you miss those times too. If you sit here like I do and wish you could turn back time. I am so happy all of you are in a good place and happy, and living life, but I miss you so much.
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